I have to say, I love Lord of the Rings. Its discomfiting elements certainly shadow my mind (not the least of which is the racism weaved throughout), and its sexism and near-absence of women is frustrating (Arwen’s sacrifice is probably the saddest part of the book and gets at most a few pages of text).

That being said, I also think that Tolkien has built a female character of depth and complexity in Éowyn. The appendices filled in her tragic background (father killed in battle, mother killed by depression, uncle who was like a father to her wasting away under the poisonous council of a man determined to take her as his prize…) and yet, when we see her, she is proud and sad and defiant. Unbroken. She sees the narrative of her doom playing out before her eyes, but she does not give in to it. Her brother threatens her harasser’s life and gets locked up. Still she cares for her King and uncle, still not turning downcast at her fate of being desired by the very person poisoning her uncle. And then suddenly, things change.

Gandalf, Legolas, Gimli, and Aragorn stroll into her life, freeing the King of the poison of Wormtongue, as well as her brother from prison, and for the first time giving Éowyn hope for a freer life (a hope she had likely long abandoned). Is it any wonder that she saw Aragorn as her salvation and mistook it for love? He literally walked into Edoras with an elf, a dwarf, and a wizard, and had already earned the love of her brother. For her, surrounded by this desperate hopelessness, feeling like she was destined to be a broodmare of a man who was poisoning her beloved Uncle; this tall, kingly Ranger walks in and changes her life with a truly wondrous group of companions, would you not also mistake this for love when all you’d ever known was despair and doom?

Thus Aragorn for the first time in the full light of day beheld Éowyn, Lady of Rohan, and thought her fair, fair and cold, like a morning of pale spring that is not yet come to womanhood. And she was now suddenly aware of him: tall heir of kings, wise with many winters, greycloaked, hiding a power that yet she felt. For a moment still as stone she stood, then turning swiftly she was gone.

Let’s also not kid ourselves. Aragorn was not forthcoming about his love of Arwen, and even gave off the feeling of considering the noble, valiant Éowyn for more than just being the niece of the King. In fact, Tolkien had initially planned on pairing Aragorn and Éowyn. That groundwork was laid in the book, and likely why so many consider Éowyn to truly be in love with Aragorn. But like JRR himself, I can see why he changed the outcome later. For Aragorn, Éowyn is a foil to his worldview. Every debate these two had, she bests him. If Aragorn were a different sort of man, listening to her counsel would make him a better person and a better king… but Aragorn was not a different man, and thus ignored her counsel and ignored what was in her heart. Éowyn marrying Aragorn would have exchanged her current cage for a slightly nicer gilded one. A terrible fate for Éowyn, even if it took her a long time to see it for herself.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. The most important scene between Aragorn and Éowyn took place just before he marched the Dunedain over the path of the dead.

‘A time may come soon.’ said he, ‘when none will return. Then there will be need of valour without renown, for none shall remember the deeds that are done in the last defence of your homes. Yet the deeds will not be less valiant because they are unpraised.’

 And she answered: ‘All your words are but to say: you are a woman, and your part is in the house. But when the men have died in battle and honor, you have leave to be burned in the house, for the men will need it no more. But I am of the House of Eorl and not a serving-woman. I can ride and wield blade, and I do not fear either pain or death.’

 ‘What do you fear, lady?’ he asked.

 ‘A cage,’ she said. ‘To stay behind bars, until use and old age accept them, and all chance of doing great deeds is gone beyond recall or desire.’

 ‘And yet you counselled me not to adventure on the road that I have chosen, because it is perilous?’

 ‘So may one counsel another,’ she said. ‘Yet I do not bid you flee from peril, but to ride to battle where your sword may win renown and victory. I would not see a thing that is high and excellent cast away needlessly.’ 

 ‘Nor would I,’ he said. ‘Therefore I say to you, lady: Stay! For you have no errand to the South.’

 ‘Neither have those others who go with thee. They go only because they would not be parted from thee — because they love thee.’ Then she turned and vanished into the night.

In this, Éowyn not only incinerates Aragorn’s mansplaining, she reveals plainly and clearly her heart. No, not the “they love thee”, but rather her motivation for saying it. She is not saying she wants to marry him to continue her caged existence (he’s made it pretty plain to her how he views women…), she is saying she wants to follow him into battle and would follow him to death. In the morning, Éowyn asks again. But this time, she does not just ask, she begs.

Then she fell on her knees, saying: ‘I beg thee!’

 ‘Nay, lady,’ he said, and taking her by the hand he raised her. Then he kissed her hand and spring into the saddle, and rode away and did not look back; and those who knew him well and were near to him saw the pain that he bore.

Éowyn tries one more time to beg this rescuer to release her from her captivity. She lowers herself in a way I doubt she has ever done before to try to have Aragorn see her desperation. And instead of seeing her, he calls her “lady” and kisses her hand. And we get one of the few times in the entire book where Aragorn is caused pain. It is a moment where we see that Éowyn is Aragorn’s equal. But she is a woman, and he treats her as such, even as his heart pulls at him to see the thing he is pretending he does not see. It is much easier to assume that Éowyn wants to marry him than seeing her ask him with all the hope and desperation she had to offer to unlock her cage.

It should surprise no one that Éowyn disappeared shortly after this interaction and a young man named Dernhelm appeared with Theoden’s host, with a noble look and a desire to see any who want to fight (the oft overlooked hobbit Merry) be able to. Éowyn watched the “hope of the West” let her down, as did her uncle, and as did her brother. So she took her fate into her own hands. She realized that the only way to escape her cage was through the glory of battle and bravery, and ultimately death. And so she rode with that in mind. She was going to die gloriously as shieldmaiden of Rohan. And on the fields of Pelennor, she got to experience that glory.

‘Begone, foul dwimmerlaik, lord of carrion! Leave the dead in peace!’

 A cold voice answered: ‘Come not between the Nazgûl and his prey! Or he will not slay thee in thy turn. He will bear thee away to the houses of lamentation, beyond all darkness, where thy flesh shall be devoured, and thy shrivelled mind be left naked to the Lidless Eye.’
 A sword rang as it was drawn. ‘Do what you will; but I will hinder it, if I may.’

 ‘Hinder me? Thou fool. No living man may hinder me!’

 Then Merry heard of all sounds in that hour the strangest. It seemed that Dernhelm laughed, and the clear voice was like the ring of steel. ‘But no living man am I! Eowyn am I, Eomund’s daughter. You stand between me and my lord and kin. Begone, if you be not deathless! For living or dark undead, I will smite you, if you touch him.’

 The winged creature screamed at her, but then the Ringwraith was silent, as if in sudden doubt. Very amazement for a moment conquered Merry’s fear. He opened his eyes and the blackness was lifted from them. There some paces from him sat the great beast, and all seemed dark about it, and above it loomed the Nazgûl Lord like a shadow of despair. A little to the left facing them stood whom he had called Dernhelm. But the helm of her secrecy had fallen from her, and and her bright hair, released from its bonds, gleamed with pale gold upon her shoulders. Her eyes grey as the sea were hard and fell, and yet tears gleamed in them. A sword was in her hand, and she raised her shield against the horror of her enemy’s eyes.

And even movie-viewers know what happened next. Éowyn dodged the Witch-king’s (second in command to Sauron) mace and struck a fatal blow after Merry’s blow made him mortal. And in that battle, she believed she got her wish. She died defending her beloved King from humiliation, and took down one of the most powerful evildoers of Middle Earth. Her desire for glory in battle, and the ultimate escape from her cage had been achieved. Éowyn would have died fulfilled. As King Theoden had.

Again, Aragorn showed himself to have a very poor understanding of Éowyn, and continued to belittle and deny her. He called her back from death (something that she did not want to be recalled from), and spoke of her not as the war heroine and marvel that she was, but as one who was weak. I almost wish Éowyn could have retorted when he said this, as I suspect that the third battle of wits would have made the score Éowyn: 3, Aragorn: 0. But alas.

‘Alas! For she was pitted against a foe beyond the strength of her mind and body. And those who will take a weapon to such an enemy must be sterner than steel, if the very shock shall not destroy them. It was an evil doom that set her in his path. For she is a fair maiden, fairest lady of a house of queens. And yet I know not how I should speak of her. When I first looked on her and perceived her unhappiness, it seemed to me that I saw a white flower standing straight and proud, shapely as a lily and yet knew that it was hard, as if wrought by elf-wrights out of steel. Or was it, maybe, a frost that had turned its sap to ice, and so it stood, bitter-sweet, still fair to see, but stricken, soon to fall and die?’

Were she a he, Aragorn would not have been so enormously condescending in how he spoke of her. She literally killed the unkillable Wraith. Stop talking about her as an object and a woman Aragorn! Speak of her with the respect she deserves: a shieldmaiden who killed the unkillable horror. If we had any doubt before, this should settle it. Éowyn would have been miserable as this man’s queen. At least he admits that she dumbfounds him. In this same scene, it is clear that Gandalf has the proper measure of her, quieting Éomer (and hopefully Aragorn too.)

‘My friend, you had horses, and deed of arms, and the free fields; but she, being born in the body of a maid, had a spirit and courage at least the match of yours. Yet she was doomed to wait upon an old man, whom she loved as a father, and watch him falling into a mean dishonoured dotage; and her part seemed to her more ignoble than that of the staff he leaned on.’

In this conversation, Aragorn also comes around. He understands her, at least a bit.

But Aragorn said: ‘I saw also what you saw Éomer. Few other griefs amid the ill chances of this world have more bitterness and shame for a man’s heart than to behold the love of a lady so fair and brave that cannot be returned. Sorrow and pity have followed me ever since I left her desperate in Dunharrow and rode to the Paths of the Dead; and no fear upon that way was so present as the fear for what might befall her. And yet, Éomer, I say to you that she loves you more truly than me; for you she loves and knows; but in me she loves only a shadow and a thought: a hope for glory and great deeds, and lands far from the fields of Rohan.’

Yet, even having seen this, Aragorn withholds his help. He understands Éowyn’s love for him is for the idea of him, but did not blink an eye at holding her to her sorrow and desperation. He had the chance to talk with her the night before he left for the Paths of the Dead, and chose not to. Instead now belittling her killing of the greatest of lieutenants. Though in re-reading these passages, I have to wonder if Aragorn does not view his treatment of Éowyn in those last moments before the Paths of the Dead as one of his biggest regrets. Given he left even before Éowyn opened her eyes (Éomer was the one to finish calling her back…), I suspect we continue to witness his pain.

So, do we need to ask why Éowyn turned to sorrow and woke up extremely angry in the House of Healing? Aragorn, who denied her a chance to escape her cage even when she begged (and did not explain why he was marching the Path of the Dead) then cheated her out of the glorious death she was hoping for, and mansplained away her heroism (be warned if you compare Aragorn’s words about Faramir, Merry, and Éowyn. It’s not a good look.) If I were her, I would be sad and desperate too. So it is no wonder that when Éowyn wakes up, she is suicidal.

‘…And it is not always good to be healed in body. Nor is it always evil to die in battle, even in bitter pain. Were I permitted, in this dark hour I would choose the latter.’

Lucky for her, when she storms up to demand to be released by the young Steward of Gondor, to seek death in battle, Faramir sees her.

And coming, the Warden spoke his name, and he turned and saw the Lady Éowyn of Rohan; and he was moved to pity, for he saw that she was hurt, and his clear sight perceived her sorrow and unrest.

 ‘My lord,’ said the Warden, ‘here is the Lady Éowyn of Rohan. She rode with the king and was sorely hurt, and dwells now in my keeping. But she is not content, and wishes to speak to the Steward of the City.’

 ‘Do not misunderstand him, lord,’ said Éowyn. ‘It is not lack of care that grieves me. No houses could be fairer, for those who desire to be healed. But I cannot lie in sloth, idle, caged. I looked for death in battle. But I have not died, and battle still goes on.’

Unlike Aragorn, who simply refused to give her this leave, Faramir (whom Éowyn immediately intuited was a warrior of the highest caliber) empathized with her, treating her as equal, and commiserated.

‘But death in battle may come to us all yet, willing or unwilling. You will be better prepared to face it in your own manner, if while there is still time you do as the Healer commanded. You and I, we must endure with patience the hours of waiting.’

 She did not answer, but as he looked at her it seemed something in her softened, as though a bitter frost were yielding at the first faint presage of Spring.

He did not view himself as above her. Faramir spoke as they were on the same plane. And it worked. Éowyn withdrew her proud facade in the tiniest of ways for Faramir. Faramir then went farther. Giving her the window she wanted to look East, and commanding that should she want to stand up and walk inside the House of Healing, then she could. He made one request — that she come and speak with him more. And when pressed, he answered why. Plainly.

‘Then, Éowyn of Rohan, I say to you that you are beautiful. In the valleys of our hills there are flowers fair and bright, and maidens fairer still; but neither flower nor lady have I seen till now in Gondor so lovely, and so sorrowful. It may be that only a few days are left ere darkness falls upon our world, and when it comes I hope to face it steadily; but it would ease my heart, if while the Sun yet shines, I could see you still. For you and I have both passed under the wings of the Shadow, and the same hand drew us back.’

Faramir did comment that Éowyn was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, but in the end, he wanted to see her and be with her because they shared the same grievous experience, and were saved by the same voice. Faramir sees Éowyn as his equal. Someone who understands what he has been through. Éowyn for her part demurs, holding to her identity as a shieldmaiden, and claiming she is no healer. I think Faramir knew in that first meeting that he loved her. He asked the Warden and Merry to tell him everything about the sorrowful Éowyn, and what he heard let him understand deeper, and likely made him love her more.

And in the next days, Éowyn and Faramir were together in the gardens constantly. Speaking and not speaking in turn, and the comfort of the two in each other’s company is so plain the Warden smiles that they are healing each other. As the darkness looms larger, and the earth quakes, Faramir so plainly and beautifully opens his heart and shares it with Éowyn.

‘Then you think that the Darkness is coming?’ said Éowyn. ‘Darkness Unescapable?’ And suddenly she drew closer to him.
 ‘No,’ said Faramir, looking into her face. ‘It was but a picture in the mind. I do not know what is happening. The reason for my waking mind tells me that great evil has befallen and we stand at the end of days. But my heart says nay; and all my limbs are light, and a hope and joy are come to me that no reason can deny. Éowyn, Éowyn, White Lady of Rohan, in this hour I do not believe that any darkness will endure!’ And he stooped and kissed her brow.

 And so they stood on the walls of the City of Gondor, and a great wind rose and blew, and their hair, raven and golden, streamed out mingling in the air.

Éowyn and Faramir have found each other, and lift each other up, from the darkest of sorrows. Faramir sees it. Éowyn, not quite yet. In fact, just after this moment we discover that Frodo and Sam have succeeded, and Sauron is defeated. Everyone rejoices, save one. Faramir is declared healed, and for the first time, does the duties of the Steward of Gondor (though with a much shortened term, given the King’s return).

Éowyn’s post-Ring healing is much sadder. Éomer sent word begging his sister to come and celebrate the victory at the fields of Cormallen, but Éowyn stayed in the house of healing, and began to fade once more into sorrow. The Warden summons Faramir, who comes to her.

…’Eowyn, why do you tarry here, and do not go to the rejoicing in Cormallen beyond Cair Andros, where your brother awaits you?’

 And she said: ‘Do you not know?’

 But he answered: ‘Two reasons there may be, but which is true, I do not know.’

 And she said: ‘I do not wish to play at riddles. Speak plainer!’

 ‘Then if you will have it so, lady,’ he said: ‘you do not go, because only your brother called for you, and to look on Lord Aragorn, Elendil’s heir, in his triumph would now bring you no joy. Or because I do not go, and you desire still to be near me. And maybe for both of these reasons, and you yourself cannot choose between them. Éowyn, do you not love me, or will you not?’

 ‘I wished to be loved by another,’ she answered. ‘But I desire no man’s pity.’

I am enamored with Faramir’s answer here. You can detect his hope in his riddle, and it is admirable that he lays his own feelings to Éowyn so directly. Éowyn for her part still feels cheated and robbed, and may still even be a bit weary of Faramir, given that Aragorn never viewed her as an equal. That pity and condescension that greeted her desperation to run away from her cage has closed her off, and she is about to shut Faramir out, fearing he is about to do the same thing that Aragorn did. But Faramir does not view Éowyn as below him. He sees her as his equal.

‘That I know,’ he said. ‘You desired to have the love of the Lord Aragorn. Because he was high and puissant, and you wished to have renown and glory and be lifted far above the mean things that crawl on the earth. And as a great captain to a young soldier he seemed to you admirable. For so he is, a lord among men, the greatest that now is. But when he gave you only understanding and pity, you desired to have nothing, unless a brave death in battle. Look at me Éowyn!’

 And Éowyn looked at Faramir long and steadily; and Faramir said: ‘Do not scorn pity that is the gift of a gentle hear, Éowyn! But I do not offer you my pity. For you are a lady high and valiant and have yourself won renown that shall not be forgotten; and you are a lady beautiful, I deem, beyond even the words of the Elven-tongue to tell. And I love you. Once I pitied your sorrow. But now, were you sorrowless, without fear or any lack, were you the blissful Queen of Gondor, still I would love you. Éowyn, do you not love me?’

This entire exchange (up to this point) was perfect. We saw Éowyn’s fear, and we saw Faramir lay before her completely vulnerable by revealing so clearly his feelings for her (I don’t think he has quite the right words for Aragorn, as “understanding” feels more like “thinks he understands, is afraid to meet her as an equal”, but that is Faramir’s mis-understanding of Aragorn, not of Éowyn.) And even though people feel weird that he is explaining her feelings to her, Faramir has been presented in the book to be intuitive to the point of wisdom, and was a pupil of Gandalf. Despite this, I also think he is hoping that his read of her is right, because he desperately wants her to love him back (and he is not sure yet that she does.)

Then the heart of Éowyn changed, or else at last she understood it. And suddenly her winter passed, and the sun shone on her.

In all of Faramir’s vulnerability, this was possibly one of the best moments of his life. I wish J.R.R. would have given this moment more time breathe, because it feels almost frivolous how quickly Éowyn wants to throw down her shield and stop being a shieldmaiden, and become a healer. But supposing that she had begun feeling that way secretly in her heart, where she dared not glance, perhaps it was just watching Faramir’s naked vulnerability with her that she finally let herself feel her own vulnerabilities and pain.

And again she looked at Faramir. ‘No longer do I desire to be a queen.’ she said.

 Then Faramir laughed merrily. ‘That is well,’ he said; ‘for I am not a king. Yet I will wed with the White Lady of Rohan, if it be her will. And if she will, then let us cross the River and in happier days let us dwell in fair Ithilien and there make a garden. All things will grow with joy there, if the White Lady comes.’

 ‘Then must I leave my own people, man of Gondor?’ she said. ‘And would you have your proud folk say of you: “There goes the lord who tamed the wild shield-maiden of the North! Was there no woman in the race of Númenor to choose?”’

 ‘I would,’ said Faramir. And he took her in his arms and kissed her under the sunlit sky, and he cared not that they stood high upon the walls in the sight of many.

I picture a twinkle in Éowyn’s eyes as she replies to Faramir’s marriage proposal, and also a hint of self-doubt. That small window into her vulnerability, and the quick and earnest reply of Faramir before they kiss. It is a scene where Faramir reads what Éowyn needs, but also that he cannot hide his joy that his love for her is returned. Éowyn says what she says completely out of self-doubt. Faramir in the book is absolutely beloved by his people, and is second in nobility only to Aragorn (and perhaps Prince Imrahil, though I think that is a tie.) Wormtongue’s poisonous words about her house being nothing more than dirt-dwelling barn peasants still lingers in her, something that Faramir quickly puts to rest. He loves her and wants to marry her, not because she is beautiful and was sad, but because she amazes him.

Even after Éowyn finds her heart and the love of Faramir, newly made Prince of Ithilien, and Éomer toasts this wonderful marriage (for it does indeed strengthen the Rohan-Gondor bonds greatly), the ever tone deaf Aragorn makes the following comment.

‘No niggard are you, Éomer,’ said Aragorn, ‘to give thus to Gondor the fairest thing in your realm!’

 Then Éowyn looked in the eyes of Aragorn, and she said ‘Wish me joy, my liege-lord and healer!’

 And he answered: ‘I have wished thee joy ever since first I saw thee. It heals my heart to see thee now in bliss.’

Even here, Aragorn feels the highest compliment he can offer the killer of the unkillable wraith is that she is the beautifulest (and as if Éomer was bestowing this gift to Gondor, rather than Éowyn accepting the proposal before Éomer was even aware one was made). I like that Éowyn met his eyes, and asked that he wish her joy. Though I do believe that he wished her joy when he met her, that she needed to ask him for this here shows just how well he conveyed that to her in their conversations ( he didn’t ).

Éowyn and Faramir’s fate is perhaps one of the highlights of the novels. It is not sad, it is full of joy and hope, and love. This couple will grow with one another, and learn from one another. I’d argue that Faramir and Éowyn have more love than Aragorn & Arwen’s (even if poor Arwen has not fully comprehended her fate and doom just yet), and I think that was Tolkien’s intent. Love of equals who know one another is the truest and best there is. I am grateful J.R.R. Tolkien gave us this love story, and counter-balanced it to the Aragorn “quest for a prize (which was Arwen)” classical love story. If you read them side-by-side and ask yourself which one you would want to be in (as the woman), hands down I think you would want to be Éowyn.

Éowyn is a strong-willed survivor, who had shut herself off and shielded her heart from any who would try to open it. She traded barbs with Aragorn on multiple occasions and bested him, and his entire relationship with her boils down to “you are but a woman.” She earned revere in her own right by destroying an enemy beyond all but the very strongest (even possibly Gandalf). And then she met her match, who did not presume to be above her and through his naked vulnerability and his gentleness, warmed her heart. She is the heroine she dreamed of being, and has been healed of her sorrows through the love between equals. She was a story of hope, and had the story arc we should all hope to follow in our own lives.